friday breakdown

it never happened to me before but i was so surprised when i looked back and saw what actually happened. so here's my reflection....

it's friday morning and i didn't go to school. i planned to work on my essay that i got to do for ŠPM. and so around 9:30am i came to the building and began to work on it. and it went quite well. but then at 1.00 i had to stop and go back home to have a lunch. and my mom told me that i must get a haircut by friday (because my hair was too long she said). and so i went to a hairdresser but she said she won't have time for me until 2:30pm. and so i ran back to the building and did some set up for the evening program and then i ran back to the hairdresser and got a hair cut. then ran back to the building and worked on the essay for a while again. and then we had a meeting and at was already 5.00 and the building was opened. [kind of fast - i did not plan it to be that way]

in the evening from friday to saturday we were doing boys night at the building (what actually is that the boys stay over the night at the building and we're watching movies, playing video games, etc...). this was our third boys night. for the first one only three guys showed up. for the second one (after people knew what it's like) about eight guys came. when i asked the boys who plans on staying over the night eighteen guys raised their hands!!! and we bought food for only ten guys. at this point i bagan to feel stressed.

but the thing is that i don't get stressed because things are not working out the way i want them to. usually i decide not to stress about it cause i know it makes things only worse. and usually (if it's like important) i just rely on the fact that God's will is going to be done anyway. but for some reason i didn't make it this time. i freaked out! i mean, i didn't feel like dominik and i can handle eighteen guys for the whole evening (last time we had some problems - and that were only eight guys). and we didn't have enough food and we were running out of time and i was tired already from the whole day and dominik came around 9.30 pm and it was all up to me to decide what and how is going to happen and i don't know what else. i just know i didn't make it.

and the day went by and after all (because God blessed the evening) we had a great time together and had lots of fun. and i was thinking, what in the world was the reason that i failed. i mean, it never happened to me before. and i realized, that this time i forgot to trust God that He would mightly take care of everything. and i kind of left Him from the picture. i feel like i thought He would not take care of this all and that it was all my burden to carry. i was so wrong. but i'm glad that after all He showed me grace and not just that He took care of everything but as well He tought me a lesson. a presious one - trust the LORD God Almighty alone! anytime and with anything.

School project

Hey, yesterday when I was at school the teachers asked me whether I would help them with some project and I said why not and so yesterday I didn't go to school and I met with teachers and was making some Power Point presentations and then they asked me to make a video for them and they gave me some video file with some pictures of Sun and asked me to do it. It took me about 15 minutes to come up with this (and I was using Windows Movie Maker - btw, notice the music, it's made from two different places of the song - the beginning and the end of the original song and I kind of did some edit [you can hear this at 57th second] :)

that's how it looks like when i decide to clean up my room after a loooong time :)

I want my life to be just like this:

Yesterday, Paul's words from the first letter to the Corinthians spoke to me the way it never did before.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31

I remember how our pastor once preached that how do we want to do great things for the Lord if we're not able to do small things. So in order do be able to give the Lord big things we need to learn to give Him the small one first. How do we want Him to give us BIG things to do if we're not able to take care and appreciate the SMALL ones. And so back then it made me to think about it more and I wanted to live the way that I can give the glory to Him even in the small and routine things. And so I've decided to make this my life motto:
...whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Even eating or drinking. Give all the glory to the One that is giving everything to you. And let that glory to be for every single thing!

Saturday

Let me share with y'all about my Saturday, because it was probably the best one in a loooong time.

The plan was to take a shower and walk the dog in the morning. So I woke up at 8 and took a shower. When I was ready to walk the dog I found out that my dad had already walked him. And so I opened up the fridge and took some parky, put them into a pocket in my coat and left the home was heading to the Building. I needed to finish the teaching for Dorast (as you all are familiar that every other Saturday we have Dorast - and I'm sure you're keeping track so I suppose that y'all already knew that we had Dorast on Saturday:)

And so I worked on that for a while. After I was finished I made my parky and had the breakfast. After that I began to read a book (there's still about 100 pages in English that I need to read by tomorrow night:) I'm using the book as one of the sources that I use as I'm making my final esay for ŠPM. And so I began to read and make notes out of it and it was all good. Then Dominik came and we met for about an hour and we had a good time. Then Lenka came as well and we all had a team meeting that went really well. And after that Dorast began.

Usually we have about 10-12 kids for Dorast. This time only 5 kids came. (I'm sorry that I just said only of course it's not only and even a single kid is a great gift from God). And actually it turned out to be good that few came because it made the whole time more intimite and personal. I was teaching on God - the Son (Jusus Christ). And I was really encourdged when I looked at the kids and I saw their faces to be staring at me and listening to was I was talking. Then we had a discussions and that went great as well.
Later Dominik went to play flourball and Lenka and I were talking for about an hour. Then I walked her to a bus stop and she left home. I returned to the Building and was cleaning up after Dorast and setting up for the church. I was leaving the Building at 9.30pm.

When I did the math I figured out that I spent about 10 full hours "working" and yet it was one of the best Saturdays in a looooong time. And I realized I really like to do this and want to. I did not write this all to show off how much I worked but just to share my joy with you all because I felt really happy when I was in my bed that night......

A Quote From Martin

When I was reading a book today one quote caught my attention. It's by Martin Luther and it just hit me as I read it. The way Luther talks here in relation to what Jesus has done for us was just so impressing to me that I want to share with you all:

Lord Jesus, you are my righteousness, I am your sin. You have taken upon yourself what is mine and given me what is yours. You have become what you were not so that I might become what I was not.

Ain't that true?

[no title]

sometimes you just go through your life wondering what it's going to bring. there are times when you have no idea why certain things happen. and many times you feel confused by times like these. but there's only one thing that can you can rely on in any time of your life - that God is always in charge. you know, that fact helps me a lot. cause when you feel like everything you do is just wrong and you don't feel doing anything right you can be more then sure that even though you mess up He's still there and He's not about to leave you at all. and that's the way i feel in these days. not sure what's right and what to do. but i'm sure in one thing that i can do - trust Him alone.

and even though y'all don't know what is the thing in my life right now (that i've been writing about in the past few days) i was standing in front of two decisions. i pictured them out like this. the first one is that this is going to be the last chapter of this story in my life. the other one looks at it as a play and this is the first part of it. now is a break but the second part will eventually start. and during this break i got to get ready! the reason why i chose to have this play-kind-of-style is because i don't feel that this is suppose to be the last part of the story and that there's something more to come. but all of that in the second part and until that time will come i must get ready.

once a friend of mine told me this:

In the times when I feel that everything goes wrong I realize that everything is just in a perfect order.

and i thought about this statement and found it to be quite true. it has happened so many times when i thought that everything just went wrong but later i saw that it had to happen so greater things could follow. and after all, when Jusus was on the cross everybody thought that it's all wrong and it's over - but it wasn't. it was just in a perfect order and just the beginning.

what do You want me to do?

i'm sure you all have had these times in your life when you wanted to do what God wanted you to. and so you tried but later you figured out it's probably not the right way. and then you begin to ask Him questions like:
- why did this have to happen?
- what have i done wrong?
- what are You trying to teach me?
- ...
and so i am asking now: LORD tell me what You're trying to teach me. open my eyes so i can see the path You have prepared for me.
you know, and then you try not to miss the point because you don't want to go through this all again. and so i'm trying to see but i'm blind. and i'm trying to listen but i don't hear anything. and i'm trying to understand but i don't get it. what is the lesson i've got to learn?

Well, ...

Hey guys, I know it took me too much time to come back here and give you a little update (anyway, nobody was asking why I wasn't blogging so I suppose it's not that bad :D ). Ok then, do you wanna know what's been going on for the past month or so? Let me share with y'all a little...

You know, it was all so...don't actually know how to finish the sentence. Anyway, lately I have been feeling that God was about to do something for me. Kind of like I felt that there's some change coming. And that it would be good. But then my disbelief showed up and I was not sure whether it's possible that God would decide to do this for me. It just seemed so not possible and so hard to happen. And I was kind of mad at God that He made me to desire something and now He's talking it away from me. Like, what's the point? But then the things turned out the way I would only imagine. And that's just the beginning. I'm sure there's more to come. And it's gonna be hard sometimes. This is what have read today:

... Many times in important moments, when my answer is yes, I don't know fully know what all of the consequences are going to be... And maybe that's good because otherwise we would not make the first step. But when I answer yes I set in motion an adventure that will change me forever... If I want to walk on water, I've got to get out of the boat...

So wish me luck as I try to walk:)